Chief Technology Officer & Photographer | Irvine, CA

One Brick at a Time

Just read an article about a scene Will Smith did year’s ago on the Fresh Prince of Belair. I loved that show, and I’m a HUGE fan of Will Smith. There was a story he told about his Dad tearing down this huge wall at his shop and told him and his brother that they were going to rebuild it that summer (when they were on break I assume).

I guess they didn’t finish building the wall that summer, but they did eventually finish it the following spring. When they were finished, their Dad told them, “Now, don’t you all ever tell me there’s something you can’t do.”.

As Will Smith put it, “The thing I connect to is: I do not have to build a perfect wall today, I just have to lay a perfect brick. Just lay one brick, dude.”.

Love that. Just lay one…perfect…brick. Then move on to the next. Eventually, you’ll achieve your goal if you keep moving forward.

2011 Daddy Checklist

Dominic just turned 8 not even 2 weeks ago, and I like to think I’m a good father, however, there are a few things I’ve missed over the past 8 years, that I really need to take care of this year.

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Killing the “Fat Gene” in America

My new favorite show – MTV’s “I Used to be Fat” – for obvious reasons.

I just watched the “Gabriella” episode. High school senior, 253lbs @ 5’7″, and tired of being fat. Her trainer pushed her non-stop for 111 days. At the end of the episode, she was a completely different person @ 163lbs. Her Mother had a hard time during her transformation, and some ugly things came out during – you should really just watch the episode, I won’t ruin it completely for you.


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Parenting, Alcoholism, & Intervention

I can’t imagine an intervention is the easiest thing to go through for an addict, but I can’t imagine it’s harder than what the people that care have to go through during the addiction period.

Watched an episode tonight about a 40 something year old man that was an alcoholic. A series of bad events led him to the alcoholism and eventually took over his life. The man lost his wife, lost his job, and was near rock bottom. His family, friends, and most importantly his son & daughter decided to have an intervention for him. Pissed…he fought it hard – he even said “I didn’t go out without a fight” after he finally decided that curing himself was more important that losing his children.

After 80 days in treatment, he was diagnosed with advanced esophageal cancer.

Three weeks later he died.

His daughter and son were interviewed at the end of the show, both clearly sad that they lost their father. His daughter said how proud she was that he made it 104 days being sober before he died. His son said that he watched his dad cheer for him at his basketball game days before his dad died and he was happy his dad watched him “almost make a basket”.

Perspective on my own life with my addictions…yep…just got a ton of that…

Couldn’t get the link to work right: – it’s Season 7, Episode 93 (Bret)

Grounding Your Kids

I’ve got a great kid…but I’ve got a great kid with behavioral issues.  He’s been on a “soft” grounding for almost 2 weeks now (no personal TV time, or Xbox) because he’s consistently been talking back the past few weeks, getting in to fights with his sister (my ex-step-daughter) at school, and so forth.  I remember I was effin’ scared as hell to get grounded as a kid – which is probably why I kept my nose out of trouble (or at least didn’t get caught) and only got grounded twice during my whole childhood.

Today we had another eruption at the place where Dom spends his afternoon’s after his summer camp/class thing.  Well, it was a big enough issue to where his teachers approached me as I walked in and said “we’ve got bad news”…ugh.  Today, Dom’s sister hauled off and kicked him square in the stomach, and as a retaliation tactic (which is understandable, but he’s getting busted for it) was to haul off and punch her.  War broke out…

Alexis – my ex-step-daughter/daughter – has had behavioral issues since she was little.  I’m willing to put money on the fact that the only consistent thing in her 7 years has been change that has caused all of this.  I know it’s the 21st century and all, and divorce rates are through the roof, and major life changes are more apparent now than ever before, but there’s got to be a solution to the madness.

Its obvious that we can’t separate them, as they are brother and sister, and they need to deal with it and learn to be around each other, but how the hell am I supposed to get that through to them?  I know they are going to fight sometimes…I fought with my older sister when I was a little boy…but it was never like this.

As of right now, I’ve completely taken all of Dom’s toys away from him.  He’s got the option to write, draw, or god forbid…play outside like I did when I was a kid!  His TV time is also taken away, and I’ve informed him that if the TV is on and Chuck or myself is watching it, he’s to go to another room as he’s not allowed to watch TV until he earns it back by acting properly.

I don’t know – am I being too rough or not rough enough?  Am I possibly not involved enough or something?  Ugh…I hate grounding him…I hate being 100% disciplinarian…I want to have fun and play video games and all that fun stuff.

I’m also having a call tonight with his mother and getting Lexi’s dad on the phone to setup a pow wow between all of us to figure all of this out as both of the kids are equally to blame for all the madness at the afterschool program.  Suggestions are welcome from seasoned parents!